THE FIRST ONLINE EDITION72°F · EXCELLENT BASKING CONDITIONS*
FROM THE COUNCILPlease stop referring to the group chat as “the cabal.” IT can see that.
Council representatives at last night’s entirely ordinary networking reception.
World Affairs • THE BIG STORY
An internal review finds humanity is perfectly capable of making things weird on its own. ‘Frankly, we’ve been taking a lot of undeserved credit.’
By Ssilas Venn · SPECIAL REPORT
Elsewhere in the reptilian world
THE THINGS THAT MATTER TO US Society
Neighbors also encouraged not to overthink the decorative egg clutch.
By Vera Verdant
Opinion
The dogs can hear us. This should not need to be explained again.
By The Editorial Burrow
Meanwhile, on the surface
REAL NEWS. REPTILIAN PERSPECTIVE. Business
The council supports technological progress, provided somebody leaves the basking lamp plugged in.
By Gordon Gekko-Smith
World Affairs
After Artemis II, the Moon's least official neighborhood association is revisiting its curtain policy.
By Ssilas Venn
BEFORE THE DAILY, THERE WAS THE GLOSSY
It started with
two very good covers.
Human suits. Secret spas. An extremely well-connected windsurfer. Revisit the original April 2025 issues that started Lizardpeople Today.
Visit the archive
*Weather at the editorial basking rock. Not a forecast for your location.